Friday, 17 August 2012

A sad entry before Syawal

I’ve lived far away from home for nearly half of my life….

And every year without fail, I will receive a Raya card in the mailbox from my parents.

Selalunya my Abah lah yang beria akan pergi ke kedai (heret Mak I sekali) untuk cari kad raya yang paling cantik untuk diposkan ke anak dia yang jauh di perantauan ni.

Kadang2 kad yang paling besar, kadang2 kad yang ada lagu2 tu, hehehe….

Awal2 puasa dia dah pos kan kad tu, just to make sure that I (bila dah kahwin and dah ada anak2, we) received the cards on time.

Orang lain dah stop bagi I real cards, cuma bagi sms and virtual cards aje, he was still stuck in the ‘old’ ways Smile.

But this year, hati I sangat lah sayu nya……

No more raya cards arriving in the mailbox for us…….

Everytime I see the postman, it makes me slightly sad knowing that he will never ever bring any more raya cards for us….

I guess in my heart I somehow knew that last year might be the last Raya card I were to receive from him…

Sebab tu I simpan card raya yang I dapat from him last year.

Masa tengah kemas2 all other greeting cards last year, card dia tetap I simpan rapi….

His last written words to us…..

And now, I will definitely put it in a safe place for me to take out whenever I’m missing him….

It is true what they say, ‘you don’t know what you are missing until it’s gone.’

The last kad raya from him…

kad raya 2

This Syawal will be the first Syawal my Mak will be celebrating without Abah after nearly 45 years of marriage.

In a way, I am ‘happy’ that I am here in Perth and not there at kampung on that Raya morning so I do not have to feel and see her sadness.

Kalau I ada kat situ, instead of cheering her up, I might just menambahkan her sadness by bawling my eyes out at the kubur.

Semoga roh Abah aman di sana dan ditempatkan di dalam Jannah Nya.

We surely miss you a lot Abah/ Atuk.

Al Fatihah….

28 comments:

Mimi Sharif said...

Kak LG,
Insya-allah kak, abah tenang di sana.
Sy baca entry akak ni sedih la kak...
Selamat ari raya!

Haslina said...

Sedih akak baca entry LG kali ini. It reminds me of my own loss - my late hubby. This Ramadhan and Syawal is our 4th year without him.

penDragon said...

rasa berkaca2 pulak mata I ni baca N3 ni. kita sama2 sedekahkan al-fatihah buat arwah abah akak, semoga rohnya sentiasa dirahmati Allah..

Mat Gebu said...

Al-fatihah...tiba2 ai pun sedey...macam nak nangess juga (tapi tu lah kalau nanges muka tak cute langsung!..grrr)..pada LG n family, ampon maaf dari CM dan selamat hari raya...

anymz said...

selamat hari raya LG..akak pun jadi sedih baca entri lg hari ni..teringat2 pd arwah my parents dan arwah abg akak yg meninggal ramadhan thn lepas..hanya tggl beberapa hari je lagi nak raya..:(((

Anash said...

LG,
having say that..me..just lost my beloved staff...not a family member but, once you are working with them for more than 8 hrs per day...well, pls do drop by reading my 'sedih entry'..and i can feel the same what you feel now...
i am trying to built up my strength..but everytime i want to finish off his work, i will end up crying in the office...

wawa said...

al-fatihah utk arwah..
selamat hari raya kak di perantauan..;p

herlyna said...

tetiba rasa sedih bila baca yr blog, touching. anyway, selamat hari raya to u n family...lemang ketupat lontong u masak ker? finally, insyallah rohnye tenang disana....amin

ummuhanis said...

al fatiha...

JaJa'Z said...

sama la kita kak mynn..jaja pun tahun ni kali pertama beraya tanpa ayah..my mom pun beraya kat penang tetiba thn ni sebab nak 'melawat' ayah pagi2 raya..and jaja yg tak pernah direct balik penang pun, raya ke tiga akan direct ke sana untuk melawat kubur ayah...

i do miss him sooooo much... :(

norhanim md zain said...

salam LG. doa dan alfatihah dikirimkan semoga mereka yg terdahulu pergi meninggalkan kita bahagia di syurga firdaus..mohon ditabahkan hati bila nanti takbir bergema..tdrlalu sayu sgt sgt. :((

Atie Azam said...

salam..bring a silent reader after so long today i just has to put a comment...it is just so sad to know the love one is no longer around.. a few of my friend is going through the same this syawal..one of them lost her daughter early this year due to poisonous gas suffocation...i still remember her little body been wrapped and seal in the black box to be sent to msia...i still remember bathing her for the last time...i'm not her mother..tapi hati i turut sayu on behalf of my friend and you who the first time celebrating raya without the love ones...semoga mereka tenang di sana..Ameen

BabyBooned said...

al fatihah to your abah. may u be granted strength and serenity this syawal..

ameeza77 said...

Allah LG, i pun sedey juga bace ur entry ni... al fatihah.

Ribbon Clown said...

Al fatihah kak LG.. I tgh me lapis kek, tak pasal2 menangis lepas baca your entry ni.. semoga arwah tenang di sana.. ameen..

Messy Mummy said...

Big hug for you kak min. MM dah tumpang nk nangis nie :'(
Kak min byk2 doa untuk arwah.. Semoga arwah tenang sana.. Al- fatihah.

cikmanggis said...

salam Lg..selamat hari raya maaf zahir dan batin.

micasamawar said...

salam lebaran buat kak LG & family
moga tabah menjalani kehidupan walau pun tanpa abah tersayang di sisi...moga arwah sentiasa dlm kerahmatan ALLAH swt
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

Chekgu Azrine said...

al-fatihah utk abh akk..semoga tenang di sana..

Shereen said...

Hi LG,
'*hugs* It is sad and hard that someone we love is no longer with us.No words can console but in time, you will heal.Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya to you and family. Take care.

m.u.l.a.n said...

myself dah 18 years beraya without my dearest dad. berderai airmata i baca ni..

moga your dad & mine dicucuri rahmat & ditempatkan bersama mereka yg beriman..

Azrey Rozie Eiman said...

Adoi... nangis sorg2 baca this entry..saya dh xde both parents. memasak kat dapur pun bole nangis sesorang :'(. al-fatihah. semoga abah kak LG tergolong dalam hamba-Nya yg soleh

suria said...

takziah on your loss

Flower said...

Alfatihah!

Madam Sooyaree said...

Sayu I baca entry ni. I was never close to my dad, even skang ni pun memang tak rapat mana, walau dah cuba. Selamat hari raya to Kak Mynn and family, I am sure he is watching from over there :)

~KB~ said...

My 2nd this year. I still keep his last bday sms to me. And the year was 2010.
Salam Aidilfitri to your family.
Al-fatihah to your Abah & my Papa.

nur easy said...

Alfatihah... sy jugaby pertama kali raya tanpa mak..
Selamat hari rayA :-)

KayNisa said...

tiap kali baca entry pasal arwah abg kak LG sy rs sebak. sy pn xmampu nk byg kalau sy juga kehilangan ayah. xsanggup nak byg. tgk dia xsihat pn bjurai2 air mata. sy doakan roh abah kak LG dilimpahi rahmat ilahi. moga dia tenang di sana. insyaAllah. byk2 berdoa utk arwah :)