Saturday 1 August 2009

Ini N3 luahan hati and it’s meant to be just that. I don’t want people to judge me and start giving me ‘advice’ with their ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude.

I’m not the most patient person and I’m not the best mother nor wife. But occasionally when I remember I do try to give my best to my family :-). Miss 10 has been sick since a few days before coming back here and so far not getting any worse or any better. She’s been coughing quite a lot and it will get worse when she exerts herself. So, at home I’ll try to let her rest as much as possible but I still sent her to school. For the past few days, Miss 5 pulak nya yang has started getting sick with coughs. And with her, some coughing bouts will end up with her throwing up. So now I have 2 sick kids at home with me. It’s just that I don’t know why, for the past few days, I feel so helpless to make them feel better. I’m normally quite good when the kids are sick, I’m not easily fazed and memang jenis yang tak panic lah. I know what to do and what not to do bila diaorang sakit :-). But kali ni entah lah, rasa helpless sangat2 bila dengar diaorang batuk…… :-(.

Maybe sebab H1N1 tengah berleluasa kot so every cough and sniffles, straight away fikir yang bukan2. Tahun lepas, bila budak2 ni kena usual cough and cold masa winter, I biasa2 aje, takde rasa apa2 cos I know they will get better eventually. Kali ni, baru aje diaorang batuk2 I dah start worrying padahal banyak lagi other common cough and cold viruses around, ye tak. Maybe kalau diaorang dapat the cold virus kat sini, I wouldn’t have been that worried kot. Tapi ni dapat kat Malaysia and The Little Misses dah tak immuned to Malaysian viruses, tu yang rasa helpless aje ni, hehehe… I know masa we all balik M’sia haritu, memang a lot of people around us yang tengah batuk2 jugak and the hot weather didn’t really help either! And also maybe I feel responsible kot for them being sick sebab I took them to Malaysia with me instead of just staying here for their July school holidays. Kalau tak balik Malaysia haritu, maybe they wouldn’t have caught this bug kan. There’s too many maybes……

I know you’ll ask, kenapa tak bawak aje gi jumpa doctor. Doctors kat sini are a bit different. Kalau setakat batuk2 aje even dah seminggu, they will just tell you to drink lots of fluids and take plenty of rest. There’s nothing much you can do with the common cold viruses, our bodies will fight the bugs themselves. We just have to make sure the bodies are strong enough to fight it. But I’ll definitely take them to the doctors if their condition worsens or haven’t improved.

But I think I know the real reason behind this feeling of helplessness. I tengah tak boleh solat sekarang so bila tak boleh solat and tak boleh mengaji ni, I feel macam jauh sangat pulak dengan Dia. Rasa macam takde ‘kawan’ nak meluahkan perasaan and nak meminta petunjuk. I know you can do other things when you are having your period but still not the same. But lumrah manusia, masa tengah ditimpa sakit ni lah baru nak ingat lebih2 kat Pencipta kita kan (I’m talking about me, not about anyone else!). Takpe, hopefully very soon I can solat and mengaji balik and make this feeling of helplessness go away..

And the other reason is because The Other Half is away while I’m stuck here with the sick kids! He didn’t have any lectures today so he spent the whole day sightseeing in Sydney and meeting a friend. I tak boleh keluar gi mana2 hari ni sebab The Little Misses are sick. Next time, I’ll ask him to get the early flight home so he can help me kat rumah! I don’t mind looking after the sick Little Misses but I do mind having to do it alone when the other party is out having fun! Maybe I would have felt happier kalau The Other Half had said to me yang he had tried to get on an earlier flight so he could come home and help me but tak dapat. But, he didn’t even offer to do that :-(. But I tau sangat lah my husband tu, memang tak psychic and tak intuitive langsung dengan perasaan bini nya ni. Kalau I tak tell him verbally, memang lah dia tak boleh baca my feelings, hehehe. Mungkin jugak sebab dia tau yang his wife jenis orang yang very independent and can do segalanya myself so tu yang dia tak offer agaknya… Hmmm…… I know, I know…. Banyak pahala jaga orang sakit ni kan kalau buat dengan hati yang redha….. :-).

Enough of the luahan perasaan tu, walaupun a bit depressed, I still masak jugak. Tapi with The Little Misses being sick and not wanting to eat much, lagi lah I takde semangat nak masak ni. Tapi tadi for afternoon tea I made bread sebab I tau Miss 10 suka makan potato bread si Ros Jepun tu dengan kaya. Dia makan lah jugak 2 ketul tadi which was excellent. Miss 5 tengok aje Miss 10 makan, sikit pun dia tak terliur which is a strange thing :-). And for lunch pulak, I made pizza scrolls. I makan 2 biji, Miss 10 makan 1 biji, Miss 5 makan 1 bite aje. Nampak sangat kan di sakit, hehehe…

DSCF6644

Pizza scrolls. The dough I guna scone dough and then just sapu pizza sauce, tabur poloni and cheese and gulung then bakar :-).

DSCF6650

Potato bread. Kat rumah Ros Jepun tu, macam2 roti you boleh jumpa and semua sedap2 belaka..

24 comments:

anisusan said...

salam..kak LG..hope both little misses will get well soon..bile baca N3 ni saya pulak naik risau..
maaf ye bukan nak merisaukan akak..
tapi kat Jepun they all sangat concern kalau ade org demam..kalau dalam faculty tu ade org demam akan cuti la jawabnya...kalau tak salah saya kat sini kalau demam kene ambik suhu badan kerap2 la kak..erm...papepun sama2 kite mendoakan yang terbaik untuk the little misses ...

ct_nurmarlissaa said...

be strong sis..i bantu doakan for your kid k

aramis2177 said...

ala......siannye the gals!Hope they get well soon! Sama laa ngan situasi kitaorg ni haa.....the whole house down with fllu & cough! rimas rasa.....mmg xde selera nak makan......
bawa2 bersabar ye sis!u still one of the great mom i've known!

aniisma said...

Salam LG

Anak2 saya pun batuk2 dan selsema dan the best part is their beloved father is now in Cherating, menikmati hujung minggu bersama rakan2 motor besar dia...

Memang ada rasa sakit hati dan sayu tapi event tu dia dah rancang tiga minggu sudah jadi susah nak cancel.

Ibu memang akan cemas dan cuak bila anak2 batuk dan selsema dalam situasi sekarang, di malaysia je dah 5 kematian...dan doktor kata anak2 antibodinya masih belum kuat jadi kena hati2...

Saya pula menyenangkan hati sendiri dengan bakar blueberry muffin dan seri muka durian...

lemongrass said...

anisusan,
salam..I pun doa banyak2 diaorang cepat sembuh. Kat sini tgh winter so mmng lah ramai sgt orang batuk2 n demam ni. So far diaorang cuma ada low grade fever aje so alhamdulillah lah...

ct_nurmarlissaa,
thank you so much :-)

Aramis,
I pun memang mentally penat sbb jaga orang sakit ni.Sbb tak senang duduk kan, asik do perati diaorang aje takut jadi apa2...Doa aje lah banyak2 kan supaya dijauhkan dgn penyakit yg bahaya :-)

Aniisma,
sian nya kat you, your hubby memang pergi sbb nak bersuka ria. Takpelah, banyak pahala kan jaga anak2 tgh sakit ni :-)..
Hahaha, you punya food lagi best, blueberry muffins n seri muka lagi tu, cayalah...

Sizuka said...

k.min, last week masa iffah masuk spital, i felt that way too. and sebenarnya, jaga anak sakit ni a bit tiring, especially bila hubby sibuk. in my case, my hubby ada back to back meeting for few days, and i was left alone in the hospital. bila iffah dah kebah demam, my friends ajak keluar gi makan kat chilli's, my hubby tolong hantar and suruh i have fun. and i did! it helped a lot to boost my morale :)

hope u will have sometime for urself too soon. take care k.min.

Queenie said...

Tabahkan hati LG, hidup kita mmg akan tempuh fasa demi fasa, episod demi episod, tempuh saja dgn berlapang dada dan kalau saat getir ini membuatkan kita dekat dgn Dia, Alhamdulillah...ertinya Dia masih dekat dgn kita...

Rahmath @Anak_Mami said...

Hi Mynn,
Luahan hati yang very familiar and something that I can totally relate to. Insya Allah, the kids will get better soon, kita doakan sama2 okey ? Kekadang hubbies kita semua memang tak tersangatlah sensitive...in my case hubby I work long hours and that include weekends at times,so bila bab anak sakit nie, somehow I feel better when he is around..and it has nothing to do with how competent we are.
You hang in there ok sweetie. Allah maha mengetahui isi hati kita...

Natasha said...

i think it's just weather change kot... dont worry too much k. dont forget to rest too.

Mother of Two said...

sian si comel.. nanti hilang gebu kalau tak makan... semoga cepat sembuh yer

Unknown said...

kak, saya faham apa yang akak rasa. Last school holiday we all semua sakit. Stress sangat sbb semua sakit.Pegi jumpa GP pun mcm tak ada hasil, mcm akak ckp. Masak pun malas sbb semua or tak lalu makan. We end up this school holiday very terrible. Hopefully your girls get better..tak tahu nak cakap apa..yng pastinya kami faham apa yg dilalui..

ain said...

akak doakan ur sweet little misses cpt sembuh. Akak selalu rasa apa yg min rasa masa hubby akak kerja KL bertahun2. semuanya akak buat sendiri, dah ler masa tu baru bersalin. bygkan lepas 2 kali bersalin dgn jarak 6 tahun baru hubby akak balik jb semula. ada time tu, akak rasa bosan dgn apa yg akak lalui, to do everything alone. masa ni lah kita perlu kuat and berdoa supaya lebih kuat.

psst...rehat byk2 supaya ur mind lebih tenang!

tuan umah said...

kak LG,

semoga cepat sembuh pada dua princess tu.itulh kt UK pun sama,kalau takat flu,cough,tak di lyn.penat je pegi,samalah nasihat tu dgn kt australia..tu yg buat bertmbh risau tu.beto tak?

anyway,jga org sakit esp anak memang tahap kerisauan tu tinggi.nak2 seorang ibu kan..

lemongrass said...

Shidah,
you lagi lah kena jaga Iffah kat ward,lagi lah penat mentally n physically kan. That's why you needed that Chilli's session, hehehe. I think I'll definitely go on a shopping spree lepas ni nak bagi release tension :-). Nak join I?

Auntie Jah,
tu lah kan, hidup memang macam tu..InsyaAllah rasa lapang hati sikit bila dah solat n mengaji nanti

Rahmath,
I guess we know we are competent but at the same time, it does make us feel better to have our hubbies to share it with even though they don't do much to help, hehehe. It's their presence that we need, betul tak? :-)

Tasha,
tu lah, last May, Miss 5 sakit macam ni jugak but I relax aje,hehe. But kali ni sbb baru balik dr M'sia kan and dpt the virus fr there, tu yg rasa lain macam aje...

Shiela,
hehehe... tu lah, memang hilang gebu dia nanti. Takpe, knowing her, dia akan makan beria2 once she feels better, wahaha

Rose,
That's why sometimes I cukup tak suka winter ni sebab penuh dgn segala mcm viruses, hehehe. Yang tak larat tu dengar diaorang batuk and tak lalu makan. Kita as Mak, rasa sedih aje kan :-(. InsyaAllah, they'll get better soon...

Kak Ain,
thanks Kak Ain for the doa. Masa kita kena buat everything sorang2 ni lah, macam2 yg kita terfikirkan and senang 'setan2' nak bisikkan macam2.. Tu yg I rasa lagi depressed sebab tak boleh solat n mengaji but Alhamdulillah dah boleh buat tu skrg so hopefully, lega lah rasa hati I ni..

Tuan umah,
thanks for the doa.Samalah UK dgn Australia ni,klu setakat common cold viruses, diaorang tak layan.Kalau kita sendiri sakit, tak lah se emo ini, kalau anak2 sakit, terlebih2 emo, hehe

Anawahid said...

kak min... harap2 boca comel tu x apa2... semoga Allah melindungi dan memelihara kesihatan keluarga akak... Aminnnnnnnn...

Mira Marlena Abdul said...

Salam kak,alahai kesiannya those girls!!hari tu sblm nak dtg M'sia sakit dah balik sana pun sakit jugak ke?Mmg musim sakit nih..i doakan dorang cepat sembuh hendaknya..

Being a mom isn't always easy...no no i think being a WOMAN isn't always easy..kalau nak diikutkan kita lagi banyak rasanya menggalas tanggungjawab compared to the men's out there.Dah la kita ni mengandung,beranak,buat segala keje umah,etc(kl nak tulis mmg tak cukup kat cni) but I believe Allah bagi kudrat kita ni lebih kuat berbanding lelaki..dan i pernah dengar Dr Fadzilah Kamsah ckp yg Allah mmg berikan wanita ni gerak hati..that is the most special gift that all women has..and patience too!

So, buat kak Min, banyakkan bersabar but i know kengkadang tu susah jugak nak ditahan kesabaran hati ni kan?May Allah guide u and your family to a better life insyaallah...

Senyum lah sket kak...hihi :)

mrswongjowo said...

LG..
dah namanye pompuan....ada perasaan normal lah tu. Tapi you mencurahkan perasaan cara brutal ek...kalau I mesti dah nangis he..he..Kat sana banyak fresh fruitkan...buat lah air apple banyak-banyak...minum...my dad selalu ajar kalau anak demam blend apple ijau dengan spirulina....insyaallah..my dad dah 71 yrs old alhamdulillah sihat..(pengamal rawatan traditional)..anyway hopefully the girls will recover soon...take care...

lemongrass said...

Ana,
tu lah kan, insyaAllah, baik lah kejap lagi tu

Mira,
Memang betul apa you cakap, sebebnarnya perempuan ni lagi kuat dr lelaki,hehehe... Tu I slalu ckp, klu orang lelaki yg kena mengandung n bersalin, surenya lah diaorang akan stop after 1 sbb tak sanggup dah,hehehe....

Mrswongjowo,
I tried lemon and honey with the kids, the don't like it at all. Nanti I'll try green apple and spirulina, hopefully they'll like the taste. Thanks for the tips :-).

e~P~o~p said...

sedapnye tgk pizza scrolls tu,menggiurkan,hehehehehe

Sizuka said...

k.min, nak join! hehe.. memang ler i ni kaki shopping but just window shopping only. need to wait my husband jadi six million dollar man dulu, then baru boleh indulge in shopping :)

knv said...

take care sis! memang tough jadi superwoman ni. i hope you are already feeling better by now!

lemongrass said...

epop,
sedap tp budak2 tu tak lalu nak makan, sedih I takde sape nak ngap my food, hehe

Shidah,
I pun suka window shopping aje sbb fulus tak membenarkan nak buat real shopping, sama lah mcm u, hehehe

knv,
Superwoman dlm diam, hehe..My kids still tak sihat but I'm not that depressed lah..

Ayu said...

salam k.min...

ayu doakan semoga alya n zahra cepat sembuh.anak2 ayu pun tgh demam ni.kesian kat ainnur la coz bibir dia sebelah dlm pecah2 n kena mata ikan lg.mengongoi dia bila ayu sapu bonjela kat tmpt yg pecah tu.ayu rasa dorg paling tak suka ibu dia time dorg sakit la sbb ayu ni a bit tegas klu masa dorg sakit.no excuse utk mkn/sapu ubat.siap paksa lg.hehehe....kejam tul ibu dorg ni kan.

Anonymous said...

kak LG, i nak mencelah pasal hubby yg x perasan langsung hati & perasaan isteri ni.Hr tu pg 1 seminar, speaker tu kata mmg Allah jadikan lelaki TIADA perasaan.Dia bukan buat tak tau tp dia mmg btl2 x tau.Kita plk nak romantik,nak belai2 dan faham emosi kita,akhirnya bila x dilayan,lg la sakit hati.Setuju? ;)